The True Gender Of A Distinguished Female

Ignorant and insecure men will accuse a female of trying to be like a man when she does not display the stereotypical characteristics of the women they and society have become fondly accustomed to.

In actuality, I by birth have never been the average type of female or the stereotypical version.

Who said, and where does it come from, that women who seem to think like men, or who are not emotional, or who have sex with no emotional attachment are trying to be like men?

Where did it come from that these traits or behaviors are strictly men related? I was born this way, have always been this way, and know other females who are this way.

Only twisted people reflect in this manner.

No matter what gender anyone is they have the right to be and to express who they are without bias, criticism, and backlash from egotistical and inadequate other people.

I was born a female, and I am proud to be a girl, a lady and a woman.

I was not meant to be with a man it is not within my nature to be attracted to, to love, to desire, or to copulate with any male out of pleasure, or out of affection. And I am not a lesbian.

There are certain men who also feel this way about and toward women, and that is perfectly fine.

I’m not talking about hatred of any kind I’m talking about natural inborn tendency.

I am asexual.

I am whole and complete as an individual, confident and secure, uninhibited and unabashed.

I, of course, don’t represent all females as we come in all variety, inherent nature, and preference.

However, I epitomize what a genuine female is as I am a real girl, lady, and woman.

A female is not defined by a standard that is believed to be or a standard of what one should be. A female is defined by the strength and the depth of her true mind and spirit.

 

Brown Skin: I Was Never A Colorstruck Type Of Person

I was never fazed about yellow skin or light colored eyes like many in the black community were.

It went on within the Hispanic community too, how they favored the fairer skin in comparison to the bronze.

It made no sense to me.

I don’t have a light complexion, or a dark complexion, I am a very nice shade of medium brown.

I have always been comfortable in my own brown skin since childhood and never understood the conflict and color problem among other African American individuals.

I never defined a person’s attractiveness or self worth based on a skin tone.

It is not color that denotes physical beauty it is the structure and design of facial features in which appeal to the eye, and the inner beauty of a person’s soul and character, that appeal to the heart and to the mind of those with genuine depth.

Most importantly, and above all, one should be pleased and satisfied with one’s own self and appearance, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, or train of thought.

Self confidence comes with self love, and self approval comes with self acceptance.

The true beauty and richness in color are the shades authentically painted from a brush stroked by the hands of someone who truly loves and believes in them self even if or when nobody else does.

Make-up and types of cosmetics was another thing I never understood and something I never desired to wear.

I believe in being totally natural I could never imagine covering myself up with unnatural coloring that brings out another form of negative shade toward one’s self image.

I know some wear make-up as an enhancement because they feel they look good, though to some, It promotes the idea of not looking good enough.

When one is secure there is no need to hide behind a cover, you’d want to show off your true color.

All shades come in beautiful packages.

 

 

 

 

Baby On Her Feet

After my mother gave birth to me she didn’t want to have anymore children, and I’m glad to be an only child.

My mother invested a lot of time and energy into caring for me and raising me, and she did a spectacular job.

I can’t believe all of the effort and patience my mother had, she was a natural, my mother championed parenthood.

After having gone through so much as a child herself, and taking on the certain responsibilities of her own mother by practically raising her baby sister, my mother deserved much credit.

Although she took on duties that were not her obligations my mother still had a reasonable childhood and healthy upbringing thanks to her resilient spirit and solicitous other family members.

As it is a priority for a loving parent to nurture and to protect their child, the one most important thing my mother told me that she desired when I was an infant and a toddler, was to live to see me grow up and be able to fend for myself.

My mother wanted me to reach into adulthood safely and individually established.

My mother had gotten her wish, and even better than what she hoped for under our particular set of circumstances which came to test us every now and then through the discontentment of unsavory people who envied our lifestyle, and relationship together.

I turned out good, and enduring, all the way through.

For a while, during my mid teenage years, I wondered how things within life would be once I entered into my twenties, and my experience was also even better than what I had myself expected.

My mother and I had divine intervention looking out and watching over us. We beat the obstacles negative people tried to set before us.

I have a beautiful wish for my mother that I’d like her and I to both live to see develop, and eventually happen.

 

 

Wardrobe: Dressing In Style

As a child, my mother always kept me clean and very well-dressed. I constantly had the latest clothes and footwear if it had appealed to me.

During my teenage years my mother use to offer to buy me any type of clothing that I wanted just as long as she could afford to purchase the items at a reasonable price, however, I’d usually refuse her generosity when it came to buying apparel as I wasn’t interested in fashion. I was more preoccupied with food and health. So my mom would get me the type of things I liked to eat since I was growing up strictly vegan at that specific time.

My mother sometimes would hassle with me to get extra clothes when we’d go out shopping together, but, I didn’t want them. I never went without, though, I had brand new stuff stored away for years before I eventually wore them. I wasn’t the average teenager and I never gave my mother any problems that is why she was enthusiastic to give me things. She considered me to be a good kid who never wanted anything or ever bugged her about anything.

My mother loved to dress ever since she herself was a teen and she owned a lot of extremely nice apparel. I had good taste and dressed nice too but I wasn’t into clothing the way my mom was. There was plenty of people who were struck with admiration and jealous of her clothes, and fancy style of dress, whether she wore casual or eventful gear. A few of our neighbors would either ask to borrow certain items of my mother’s wardrobe or they’d attempt to put together outfits of their own to duplicate.

It is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess so.

 

 

The Year 1983: Monopoly, Movies, Meals, And Mom

When I was eight years old my mother and I got up one day and headed to an area of queens village where we use to shop at, eat at, go to the movies at, and frequent a favorite discount store of ours.

We use to go out all of the time.

On this particular day we stopped off at the discount store and purchased me the original board game Monopoly.

Then we headed to Burger King where she got her a whopper and me a whopper junior with fries.

Then we headed to the movie theater.

The year was 1983 and Scarface with Al Pacino was showing as the film had just came out. Back then, at that particular time, the movie theaters use to show double features.

Scarface was about three hours long and such a good movie that the whole entire audience stayed to see it a second time because also back then nobody had to pay an additional fee to watch a film over again.

Everyone sat through a boring hour and a half long movie until Scarface replayed on the screen. So all of us within the theater sat for approximately seven an a half to eights hours.

After viewing Scarface for the second time my mother and I took a cab home. We arrived at our house around one am in the morning.

Instead of going to sleep my mother stayed up and taught me how to play the board game Monopoly in which she had bought for me earlier the day before.

I had thought the gesture was so nice and we played until I understood and got the hang of the game.

Such a fond memory of the love, care, and fun my mother shared and displayed to me.

We always had activities to occupy our attention.

Another game my mother was enthusiastic about teaching me to play was the board game Life (The Game Of Life).

Oh, we had delightful pastimes.

 

Blessings In Disguise

I’ve always been a free and bubbly spirit, strong and Independent, smart and confident.

Everything I achieved I’ve done on my own no one helped me to get where I’m at as I took the initiative and never accepted or needed any handouts and I am proud of myself.

Since I was in my early twenties just like a lot of young women do around that age I desired to have my own home and to live by myself.

I wasn’t exactly denied the preference. Sometimes life doesn’t give one what they want at the cost of vacating another.

My leaving a shared nest is not necessarily abandoning certain family members depending on the intention. Of course, it’s completely normal and healthy to desire to spread one’s wings and to live a life of their own.

Yet when a loved one may need us life may intercede at what can seem like a burden until we are compensated in ways that operate on the behalf of both parties when the situation is just and commendable.

We learn to accept within specific conditions and make allowances in which turn out to benefit one another at the same time maintaining an independence and individual mode of living.

When we’re decent and good, the universe recognizes, and rewards us special blessings.

Parents: Forever Thankful And Grateful

When people do right by me I always remember them and I will have their back, as I am loyal, genuine, and solid.

When people do wrong by me I always remember them and those people better watch their back, as I am trustworthy, authentic, and vile. – Miss LaToya

For a lot of us our parents are the first people we bond with when we enter into this life.

Some of us have good experiences with our folks and some of us have bad experiences with them.

Fortunately, I was exceptionally well taken care of by my mother, especially under the circumstances and burdens in which she was put through by unsavory individuals and the unnatural trials of life (Witchcraft/Black Magic).

Through out it all and no matter what occurred nothing ever prevented her from being an excellent mother to her child.

I’ll never forget how well I was taken care of and how much I was loved and respected by my very own mother as a child on up until the present and the regard goes a long way.

My mother can always count on me to be in her corner and to always look out for her and not out of obligation but out of an enormous appreciation.

 

Craving

My mother, Patricia, made herself some potato salad earlier today and had fried chicken wings to go along with it.

The meal satisfied her fancy as her preparation turned out just the way she wanted.

She told me her food tasted good.

So my mother and I both prepared two of our own separate meals in which our appetites craved and took pleasure within.

I had an awesome breakfast and she had an amazing lunch.

Simple things like this make us happy and content.

Milkshakes And Pastries: Family Time

When I was a little girl I use to love doughnuts and munchkins.

The pastries were so nice to look at and so delicious to eat. Although I don’t need or desire anything simply because it appears attractive.

Everything in which looks good may not be good or healthy for us all within general.

Nevertheless, when it comes to the enjoyment of certain foods and occasional particular cravings why not indulge if the edibles are prepared with decent and nutrient based ingredients?

Even desserts can be made healthy and we can eat moderate portions or balance out the sweets with other sources of nutrition with foods such as vegetables, fruit, protein, and healthy oils.

An even distribution is key to maintaining healthy levels of what our bodies intake.

I remember when I got older my mother and I use to go to the bakery and I’d buy my cheese danish and I’d get her the black and white cookies that she loved.

She’d also go to the bakery on her own and bring me and her both back our own slices of cheesecakes.

Then, my mother began making her own home-made cheesecake which came out great. And, nowadays we have non dairy cheese cakes available for those of us who live on a vegan or vegetarian diet!

One of my dogs I had years ago loved to drink milk and luckily never had worms (parasites) as a result. She loved milk and Ice cream and she would sit and chill out with me as we both ate delectable batches of oatmeal cookies together. We often did this (eating and snacking with each other) during our times of bonding within our own inviting and “sweet” moments.

I’ve always loved me some milkshakes and I definitely still drink them as well I just use soymilk and non dairy ice cream/frozen desserts.

My favorite type of shake is french vanilla, my mother loves her german chocolate shakes, we’d have a ball engaging within our appetites as we delighted in one another’s company, too.

We’re all entitled to treat ourselves to innocent pleasures.

I also still love certain pastries, cookies, and cakes, they just have to be vegan with natural and non gmo ingredients in order for me to eat them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Teenage Treats

When I was fourteen my mother use to buy me from time to time a tasty vegetable rice meal diced with mushrooms from a diner. The order was kind of expensive due to the food being of quality.

I had first became a vegan/vegetarian between the age of twelve and fourteen and would only eat certain things.

Around twelve and thirteen I’d eat dairy here and there but absolutely no meat. When I was fourteen going on fifteen I became a strict vegan. Then at eighteen, I’d eat a little seafood and poultry but still never any red meat or pork. So once in a while I’d eat a pollo pescetarian diet.

She would also bring me doughnuts and pizza too yet it was of good quality, no junk. We’d always get the good stuff ever since I was little. My mother took well good care of me.

And I am so into taking good care of myself.

Spirit will lead us into healthy modes of living in which is compatible and within accordance to our nature, and evolution.

 

 

 

 

Recognition

One doesn’t need the acknowledgement from others to acknowledge one’s self

I’ve never needed a reward or anybody’s praise to feel good about myself.

I know who I am and I know what I’m capable of doing.

If no one ever took notice of my abilities it would not have made me any less able.

There is so much more to many of us than what a lot of others can see or perceive upon the surface.

What about the other qualities or faculties in which we may possess?

What about our character, how our minds think, what we stand for, what we believe in, the very things in which define our being of substance?

Those of us who are strong and confident don’t require anyone to validate us. Our existence and state of being is proof enough of affirmation, we don’t need confirmation.

The very first award I remember to have received was at the age of seven or eight, I was presented a pen in front of my entire school auditorium for being one of the best readers among all the other students.

From then on, I’d constantly receive certificates, awards, and tokens of achievement, whether at school or on my jobs.

Of course, these exhibits of recognition are very nice and enough to make our parents and those who believe within our capacity very proud of us and of our accomplishments.

I just feel praise and awards are just words and objects in which one shouldn’t expect to depend on when it comes to self worth or self value, and going forward to attain one’s aspirations.

For The Love Of Dogs

Many puppies and dogs are special by nature.

I had quite a few of these animals within my lifetime and enjoyed every moment of sharing my home with these wonderful creatures.

Ten years after I had to have one of my dogs in which I had for seventeen years euthanized due to arthritis pain (which made her yelp), her hind legs giving out, and the fact she wouldn’t eat any food or urinate and move her bowels under the condition, I adopted another puppy from North Shore Animal League.

It was a female pup who was already paper trained and smart as a whip.

I’ve been fortunate to have certain dogs that stood out from the rest that I’ve had within intelligence, behavior, and intuitive ability.

The dog I had for seventeen years was indeed the most exceptional out of all of them. The second most remarkable was the very first puppy I ever owned when I was at the age of seven or eight.

Dogs have a keen sense of smell and natural instincts in general, however, some just bring to my attention the certain things in particular I’ve happened to take a notice of in regard to them.

One circumstance I recognized was how I would be downstairs in my house all day long working on my computer and the puppy would be upstairs the entire time with other relatives who also occupied the home because she’d never come downstairs.

When I’d finally come upstairs hours later to retreat to bed or to watch television she’d just be her normal quiet self, except when she was in the mood to play.

On the days I’d come home from work I’d be coming through the door and I would hear her upstairs whining in anticipation to greet me.

As soon as I’d reach the bedroom she’d be running towards me and jumping all over me, still whining in excitement.

I’d wonder to myself, how did she know I was out all day and not just downstairs on my computer or doing something else? She’d do the same thing all of the time.

My puppy knew the difference between me being home and not being home regardless of the fact at how long I was out of her sight.

Her reactions showed it all.

I even took notice at when she followed me into the bathroom one day and after I’d opened up the medicine cabinet she was able to see my reflection through the outside cabinet mirror.

She continuously looked back at the mirror and at me, studying the double figures of my likeness, in which she was viewing. She just kept turning her eyes back and forth at what she was seeing.

Our pet canines watch everything we do and they watch everything around us and it is marvelous how quickly they can grasp and pick up on things.

It is so adorable and pleasant to assist them within their stages of learning. Oh, how I love them so.

Those beautiful creatures.

 

Vile Strength

 

My mother had me when she was twenty-two years old and we became very close as we bonded immediately after I was born.

We’ve been through a lot together enduring circumstances in which many would not have survived and coming out sustained within a fashion that has caused some to wonder and to be amazed.

My mother and I have battled a very long way from the negativity directed towards us by envious, jealous, and unsavory people in specific.

My mother and I both constantly held our ground and we continue to stand.

Hooray to Peace, power, love, and protection.

 

 

 

Electric Typewriter

My mother bought me my first electric typewriter when I was twelve years of age. It was an excellent quality Brother model attractively toned in beige with a black keyboard.

Before then, I had two manual typewriters.

I treasured the gift my mother gave to me as it gave me a productive way to occupy my mind. She purchased the electric typewriter because she knew I liked to write and after creatively experimenting with stories I had invented with my new literary machine I was certain a writer is what I definitely wanted to be when I grew up.

I use to sit up at my dresser in my bedroom sipping hot tea with milk delightfully typing my imagination away!

During my teenage years my mother wanted to buy me a computer, however, I didn’t want one at the time.

I wasn’t interested as I was content writing in long hand on notebook paper then typing my manuscripts up with the use of my electric typewriter.

Then, one day I got surprised when an old neighbor who use to live next door to us purchased me a brand new computer for Christmas.

She had gotten me everything to go along with it. The monitor, the keyboard, speakers and a printer.

Ever since, I don’t understand why I didn’t want a computer from the beginning when my mother had first suggested the idea to me.

Single Parent Home

Ever since I was a young child I knew that if there was something that I didn’t want within my life then the situation was not going to work out.

Only the things that I preferred and under the circumstances in which I truly desired would instances turn out favorably and long lasting to my concordance.

I was never the type of female that ever hoped to one day get married and have children. I didn’t initially yearn to be a mother, when the idea later on within young adulthood came into mind to have a child it was with the intention of being a single parent, yet I eventually changed my mind about having a baby altogether and it was the right choice for me.

If I did have a child, though, it definitely would have been on my own without a man involved in the picture.

I fortunately grew up in a home without my father present and that is the way I liked it as I grew up strong, confident, independent and liberated-not implying that females that are raised in homes with their father’s can’t turn out that way-it was just an advantage that served a great purpose for me.

When I was little I never wished for or thought about having a dad around and when I saw other children that parents were married or together as a couple it was a situation that I didn’t require to be in I was very content and accustomed to my family order with me and my mom.

I wasn’t alone either there were other kids like me whose mothers raised them without a father it was normal to us. I can’t speak on how they actually felt about the matter, however, everything suited me just fine.

My mother never had any problems out of me I was a good child.

One thing I hated though was when guys were attracted to me or interested in me whether their intentions were good or bad I didn’t care, I wasn’t flattered by any of the attention I was genuinely turned off by it.

And it feels so good that I don’t have to go through undesirable and unsavory individuals who use to send to me the annoying invasions of mind transference through voodoo/black magic.

They had been doing it within many ways for many years within different techniques but with the same motives and that was to bring me down to their level.

Whether it was to attempt to lower my self esteem or to get me to have feelings for a man they worked hard at it and failed miserably.

These people were jealous and resentful because I’d never been hurt or dogged out by a man as so many of them had even the guys were envious and jealous of me they all figured if I was in the same predicament as they were I couldn’t or wouldn’t think that I was better than any of them.

They were also jealous and envious of my intelligence and knowledge and where I could go within life if and when the opportunity arose.

They had such a warped sense of mindset that didn’t correspond with mine in the least if they had succeeded in their designs I’d still be the person who I am today with the same mentality no man could ever break me or kill my spirit. I wasn’t built within that fashion.

If I were interested in men I’d be able to get a good man and would only deal with one that was on my level, however, I’m proudly asexual and am fulfilled and complete as a woman and an individual.

 

My Mother, Patricia

My mother Patricia Lawrence came from a very good and loving solid family, although, her mother wasn’t a good example of what a parent should be my mother received a lot of love, care, and guidance from her grandparents, uncles, cousins, and her father.

On account of her own mother, as well as a few of her envious and jealous siblings, Patricia had it rough growing up yet succeeded within many of her endeavors and became a very responsible and very sufficient adult.

Patricia was a very intelligent woman who had many talents of her very own.

She use to play the saxophone, write music, sewed and design clothing, mastered the art of short hand (Gregg and Pittman), enjoyed and was very skilled in the fields of typing as she once attended college to become a stenographer.

During adolescence Patricia savored the periods of time she’d spend down in Halifax, Virginia with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on her mother’s side of the family.

Down there in the south she worked on the farm, milking the cows, and attending to all of the other animals her family owned.

Our family had mules, bulls, cows, pigs, hens, roosters, baby chickens, turkeys, horses, dogs and cats.

The elders showed my very young mother along with her brother work ethics and responsibility.

At the ages of nine and ten they were taught how to labor numerous tobacco fields on the lands in which her family also owned.

They picked out all varieties of family grown crops in the gardens which some were sold to buyers and the rest was kept for our family to eat as they were established farmers who fed on their own natural and healthy produce.

Our family had their own businesses.

Patricia’s grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee indian woman who made her own soaps and other handmade and homemade items.

Patricia’s grandfather was an african american man who headed their farm that he with the help of his wife, daughters, and sons kept prosperous.

Patricia’s great uncle, who was her mother’s uncle, owned and conducted his very own funeral home. When he died he passed the establishment on down to our close relatives.