Brown Skin: I Was Never A Colorstruck Type Of Person

I was never fazed about yellow skin or light colored eyes like many in the black community were.

It went on within the Hispanic community too, how they favored the fairer skin in comparison to the bronze.

It made no sense to me.

I don’t have a light complexion, or a dark complexion, I am a very nice shade of medium brown.

I have always been comfortable in my own brown skin since childhood and never understood the conflict and color problem among other African American individuals.

I never defined a person’s attractiveness or self worth based on a skin tone.

It is not color that denotes physical beauty it is the structure and design of facial features in which appeal to the eye, and the inner beauty of a person’s soul and character, that appeal to the heart and to the mind of those with genuine depth.

Most importantly, and above all, one should be pleased and satisfied with one’s own self and appearance, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, or train of thought.

Self confidence comes with self love, and self approval comes with self acceptance.

The true beauty and richness in color are the shades authentically painted from a brush stroked by the hands of someone who truly loves and believes in them self even if or when nobody else does.

Make-up and types of cosmetics was another thing I never understood and something I never desired to wear.

I believe in being totally natural I could never imagine covering myself up with unnatural coloring that brings out another form of negative shade toward one’s self image.

I know some wear make-up as an enhancement because they feel they look good, though to some, It promotes the idea of not looking good enough.

When one is secure there is no need to hide behind a cover, you’d want to show off your true color.

All shades come in beautiful packages.

 

 

 

 

Paper Dolls

I have a lot of fond memories of my childhood growing up, and playing with my Barbies, and Paper Dolls, was high on the list.

I could not have imagined life without Barbie, and all the fun that came with playing in the world I created for her through my elaborate ideas.

I had plenty of Barbie accessories to indulge in during my inspired activities, and many hours spent enjoying the sport of bringing invention into origination.

The Paper Dolls were equally intriguing, holding a firm grasp onto my studious attention, while stimulating my broad streak of talent and vision.

Our childhood fun was more than just preoccupied enjoyment it was educational as well as recreational to the ever advanced and developing mind, no matter what kind of toy or item we had engagement within.

It was’t necessarily an object soley itself to encourage, but the fostering of our own faculty in which brought out the depth within our ability to analyze and to determine.

I had Barbie/Mattel brand Paper Dolls as well as some really cute other brands that shared a similarity to the likeness of Barbie.

The fancy cut outs would come with sectional and stylishly designed cardboard sets that came in the form of soda shops, bedrooms, ice cream parlors, and other lifestyle scenery to highlight, and to promote a realistic appeal that further stimulated the imagination.

Paper Dolls we’re also a great motivator for young children who we’re inspired to become fashion designers, or architects who sketched and drawed out outlines, and masterminded construction plans.

Insecure People

It all starts within the home.

I had and was given so much love and attention at home that I never sort out to find love elsewhere.

Love made me confident, love made me strong, love made me secure, and no one can take away what was instilled in me from the beginning.

I have a very high self esteem and I am very sure of myself I have never desired, needed, or looked for social acceptance or validation from anyone.

I don’t understand people who do.

I don’t like people who reflect their own insecurities and negativities onto me, and onto others who exude a genuine and a positive self image, and attitude.

Those whose self esteem is so low that they interpret self assurance and strong sense of self as being full of oneself is all too self-telling.

It seems that some who are unable to reach a secure level of self worth and self value within themselves are more apt or prone to devalue the value in which others actually have for themselves.

Insecure individuals who self doubt, have doubt within others, only because they don’t believe the possibilities in others, that are impossible for them.

 

 

I Worked At The Home Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Relative Once

In between retail jobs, I’ve worked as a care manager as well as a companion to many wealthy people through very reputable private agencies, for years.

I’ve come across many fascinating people/clients and individuals who were on my level of knowledge, and high energetic vibration.

I’ve also come across working within the most gorgeous and beautiful homes, and establishments with the most welcoming and hospitable reception, generously offered unto me by those who I professionally serviced.

There are a lot of good people in the world and one’s that I connected to, and flourished around.

I’ve met and been within the households of famous people, too.

One lady client of mine was a retired judge who’s husband was the first cousin to Gwyneth Paltrow’s father.

I saw the actresses younger pictures on the shelves of the home, and I had inquired to the care manager who worked the twelve hour day shift if that was Gwen in the photos, her facial features were quite distinctive and obvious to me even though her hair was in it’s natural uncolored state.

This particular overnight case in which I had undertook involved using a special lock, key, and code in order to enter into the premises.

I had to travel far out into the island three or four days a week but I enjoyed the environment and the delightful experience of my versatile job.

This retired judge had an extravagant view of the ocean from the glass doors and windows of a comfortable lounging room, and across from the oceans were more luxurious homes.

I use to watch the sunset come up and watch the pretty white swans float back and forth in the early morning of the day. It was so nice to see and to take in, all of the beauty and the serenity.

I, of course, made a recording of the entire scene with my smartphone at the time to show and to share with my mother when I returned back home.

 

 

Crocheting And Crafting: Some Of My Favorite Pastimes

I was nine or ten years of age when my great-grandmother first taught me how to crochet. At the time, I didn’t have the patience to learn to knit.

My great-grandmother use to design clothes for my mother’s dolls when she was a youngster, and when I was a baby, my mother knitted and crocheted beautiful blankets to adorn me in.

My mother also made lovely patterns and clothing with her sewing machine from the age of fifteen on up.

As a person with innovative ideas I was always extremely creative, having a natural flair to invent and to express.

I’ve indulged in an array of arts and crafts which I took great pleasure within and that occupied my time.

I enjoyed cross stitch, lanyard, and painting. I even constructed my own plaque at a workshop when I was fourteen years of age.

I sawed off a large piece of wood, sanded the surface to smooth out the texture, I then engraved words onto the wood, and polished the finishing touches out with shellac.

My mother kept the plaque hung upon her bedroom wall for years.

Talent and skill is big in my family, especially among some of us in particular. I know it is in my blood, as well as within my heart and soul to produce.

After all, I come from a maternal family of business owners who self made and who self asserted themselves.

I am an entrepreneur deep inside.

The little girl who caught on instantly to the fun and styles that attract the attention, and the vast interest within those who love to form and to design through the various and colorful materials of yarn, is the woman today who still likes to crochet until her finger burns, and gets tired from looping.

I love all the different type of hooked needles, combining the different type variety of threads, the different type of stitches, and the elaborate fashions of tedious yet challenging sets of needlework.

 

Baby On Her Feet

After my mother gave birth to me she didn’t want to have anymore children, and I’m glad to be an only child.

My mother invested a lot of time and energy into caring for me and raising me, and she did a spectacular job.

I can’t believe all of the effort and patience my mother had, she was a natural, my mother championed parenthood.

After having gone through so much as a child herself, and taking on the certain responsibilities of her own mother by practically raising her baby sister, my mother deserved much credit.

Although she took on duties that were not her obligations my mother still had a reasonable childhood and healthy upbringing thanks to her resilient spirit and solicitous other family members.

As it is a priority for a loving parent to nurture and to protect their child, the one most important thing my mother told me that she desired when I was an infant and a toddler, was to live to see me grow up and be able to fend for myself.

My mother wanted me to reach into adulthood safely and individually established.

My mother had gotten her wish, and even better than what she hoped for under our particular set of circumstances which came to test us every now and then through the discontentment of unsavory people who envied our lifestyle, and relationship together.

I turned out good, and enduring, all the way through.

For a while, during my mid teenage years, I wondered how things within life would be once I entered into my twenties, and my experience was also even better than what I had myself expected.

My mother and I had divine intervention looking out and watching over us. We beat the obstacles negative people tried to set before us.

I have a beautiful wish for my mother that I’d like her and I to both live to see develop, and eventually happen.

 

 

Mental, Emotional, And Spiritual Breakdown

Everyone who has had a breakdown of some sort is not weak, crazy, or dangerously unstable.

A breakdown is spiritual within many instances. A Yoruba priestess even acknowledged this fact to me years ago. I know firsthand as my own mother was a victim of brujeria in the early 1980’s.

I was even targeted. My aunt tried to flip me out when I was eighteen years of age by putting the hallucinogenic drug mescaline into a hot pot of black eyed peas that I had cooking over the stove.

People often use recreational “trip” drugs to increase the chance or enhance the effect of mental and chemical alterations of the brain while also performing the negative spiritual influences within black magic/voodoo/witchcraft.

My aunt went a step further in her malicious attempt by also putting tainted hiv fluids inside my food. Anyone educated would know the disease would not survive within the air and within a pot of scalding hot water.

Nevertheless, I didn’t lose my head or have a breakdown, my mind was too strong with faculty and awareness, and I didn’t, of course, become infected with aids either.

I was young, innocent, and very spiritually inclined, so divine intervention took over and protected me.

My aunt Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has been hiv positive since the 1980’s due to intravenous drug use and promiscuous behavior from the 1970’s on up and instead of using her limited time to spend changing her life around for the better, she continued to do tons of constant dirt. She and other envious and jealous ruthless dummies, whores, drug addicts, and degenerates attacked me and other family for decades.

They’ve in addition done it to others, however, when they came after my mother and I, they messed with the wrong individuals. We are people of the light and they are people of the darkness. My ancestors and orishas were ready for them all, and the universe was recording and keeping record of every notorious deed in which was repeatedly done toward us.

Tina had poisoned food of my mother’s years ago too while neighbors were working black magic/voodoo/witchcraft against her.

My grandfather was driven to mental affliction before he was killed and found dead in the Hudson river.

My aunt Charise was drugged and raped which caused her to be afflicted with mental illness.

My grandfather, mother, younger aunt, and I were targeted for manipulative breakdowns because we were all very smart, strong, and fighters who could literally kick ass if needed be. We weren’t the type to back down or be bullied by anyone, and we were all good upstanding people.

The intent for causing mental, emotional, and spiritual breakdowns are to weaken one, to render them as incredible, and to lower their self esteem and spirit.

Certain evildoers want those of us who have knowledge in which threaten their unscrupulous ways either dead or labeled as crazy.