The Grapevine

I am a straight up type of person as I speak the truth, whatever I have to say about a person I’ll tell them to their face, I have been known for my blunt and bold approach.

Nobody messes with me!

I never cared or worried about rumors and reputation my distinct character always stood out and spoke for itself.

Of course, individuals perceive and misconceive notions about others, in general, however, no one is defined by another person’s conjectures or lies.

People lie and talk about other people everyday.

People have constantly told lies on me all through out my life, gossip is a hot topic for those who are jealous, bitter, miserable, and who have no true fulfillment radiating within their life.

Most people who talk to such an extent don’t know what they are talking about.

Other people’s bullshit is usually a reflection of their own insecurities, tendencies, and susceptibilities. The instances have absolutely nothing to do with the other person on the receiving end.

The grapevine is a long line of history and travel in which goes back and forth to nowhere again, circulated stories of unproven reports, doubtful truths, and uncertain events.

I’d never lose any sleep or laughter over the stupidity of others, I’m far too intelligent and productive for that.

The True Gender Of A Distinguished Female

Ignorant and insecure men will accuse a female of trying to be like a man when she does not display the stereotypical characteristics of the women they and society have become fondly accustomed to.

In actuality, I by birth have never been the average type of female or the stereotypical version.

Who said, and where does it come from, that women who seem to think like men, or who are not emotional, or who have sex with no emotional attachment are trying to be like men?

Where did it come from that these traits or behaviors are strictly men related? I was born this way, have always been this way, and know other females who are this way.

Only twisted people reflect in this manner.

No matter what gender anyone is they have the right to be and to express who they are without bias, criticism, and backlash from egotistical and inadequate other people.

I was born a female, and I am proud to be a girl, a lady and a woman.

I was not meant to be with a man it is not within my nature to be attracted to, to love, to desire, or to copulate with any male out of pleasure, or out of affection. And I am not a lesbian.

There are certain men who also feel this way about and toward women, and that is perfectly fine.

I’m not talking about hatred of any kind I’m talking about natural inborn tendency.

I am asexual.

I am whole and complete as an individual, confident and secure, uninhibited and unabashed.

I, of course, don’t represent all females as we come in all variety, inherent nature, and preference.

However, I epitomize what a genuine female is as I am a real girl, lady, and woman.

A female is not defined by a standard that is believed to be or a standard of what one should be. A female is defined by the strength and the depth of her true mind and spirit.

 

Brown Skin: I Was Never A Colorstruck Type Of Person

I was never fazed about yellow skin or light colored eyes like many in the black community were.

It went on within the Hispanic community too, how they favored the fairer skin in comparison to the bronze.

It made no sense to me.

I don’t have a light complexion, or a dark complexion, I am a very nice shade of medium brown.

I have always been comfortable in my own brown skin since childhood and never understood the conflict and color problem among other African American individuals.

I never defined a person’s attractiveness or self worth based on a skin tone.

It is not color that denotes physical beauty it is the structure and design of facial features in which appeal to the eye, and the inner beauty of a person’s soul and character, that appeal to the heart and to the mind of those with genuine depth.

Most importantly, and above all, one should be pleased and satisfied with one’s own self and appearance, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, or train of thought.

Self confidence comes with self love, and self approval comes with self acceptance.

The true beauty and richness in color are the shades authentically painted from a brush stroked by the hands of someone who truly loves and believes in them self even if or when nobody else does.

Make-up and types of cosmetics was another thing I never understood and something I never desired to wear.

I believe in being totally natural I could never imagine covering myself up with unnatural coloring that brings out another form of negative shade toward one’s self image.

I know some wear make-up as an enhancement because they feel they look good, though to some, It promotes the idea of not looking good enough.

When one is secure there is no need to hide behind a cover, you’d want to show off your true color.

All shades come in beautiful packages.

 

 

 

 

Insecure People

It all starts within the home.

I had and was given so much love and attention at home that I never sort out to find love elsewhere.

Love made me confident, love made me strong, love made me secure, and no one can take away what was instilled in me from the beginning.

I have a very high self esteem and I am very sure of myself I have never desired, needed, or looked for social acceptance or validation from anyone.

I don’t understand people who do.

I don’t like people who reflect their own insecurities and negativities onto me, and onto others who exude a genuine and a positive self image, and attitude.

Those whose self esteem is so low that they interpret self assurance and strong sense of self as being full of oneself is all too self-telling.

It seems that some who are unable to reach a secure level of self worth and self value within themselves are more apt or prone to devalue the value in which others actually have for themselves.

Insecure individuals who self doubt, have doubt within others, only because they don’t believe the possibilities in others, that are impossible for them.

 

 

I Worked At The Home Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Relative Once

In between retail jobs, I’ve worked as a care manager as well as a companion to many wealthy people through very reputable private agencies, for years.

I’ve come across many fascinating people/clients and individuals who were on my level of knowledge, and high energetic vibration.

I’ve also come across working within the most gorgeous and beautiful homes, and establishments with the most welcoming and hospitable reception, generously offered unto me by those who I professionally serviced.

There are a lot of good people in the world and one’s that I connected to, and flourished around.

I’ve met and been within the households of famous people, too.

One lady client of mine was a retired judge who’s husband was the first cousin to Gwyneth Paltrow’s father.

I saw the actresses younger pictures on the shelves of the home, and I had inquired to the care manager who worked the twelve hour day shift if that was Gwen in the photos, her facial features were quite distinctive and obvious to me even though her hair was in it’s natural uncolored state.

This particular overnight case in which I had undertook involved using a special lock, key, and code in order to enter into the premises.

I had to travel far out into the island three or four days a week but I enjoyed the environment and the delightful experience of my versatile job.

This retired judge had an extravagant view of the ocean from the glass doors and windows of a comfortable lounging room, and across from the oceans were more luxurious homes.

I use to watch the sunset come up and watch the pretty white swans float back and forth in the early morning of the day. It was so nice to see and to take in, all of the beauty and the serenity.

I, of course, made a recording of the entire scene with my smartphone at the time to show and to share with my mother when I returned back home.

 

 

Mental, Emotional, And Spiritual Breakdown

Everyone who has had a breakdown of some sort is not weak, crazy, or dangerously unstable.

A breakdown is spiritual within many instances. A Yoruba priestess even acknowledged this fact to me years ago. I know firsthand as my own mother was a victim of brujeria in the early 1980’s.

I was even targeted. My aunt tried to flip me out when I was eighteen years of age by putting the hallucinogenic drug mescaline into a hot pot of black eyed peas that I had cooking over the stove.

People often use recreational “trip” drugs to increase the chance or enhance the effect of mental and chemical alterations of the brain while also performing the negative spiritual influences within black magic/voodoo/witchcraft.

My aunt went a step further in her malicious attempt by also putting tainted hiv fluids inside my food. Anyone educated would know the disease would not survive within the air and within a pot of scalding hot water.

Nevertheless, I didn’t lose my head or have a breakdown, my mind was too strong with faculty and awareness, and I didn’t, of course, become infected with aids either.

I was young, innocent, and very spiritually inclined, so divine intervention took over and protected me.

My aunt Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has been hiv positive since the 1980’s due to intravenous drug use and promiscuous behavior from the 1970’s on up and instead of using her limited time to spend changing her life around for the better, she continued to do tons of constant dirt. She and other envious and jealous ruthless dummies, whores, drug addicts, and degenerates attacked me and other family for decades.

They’ve in addition done it to others, however, when they came after my mother and I, they messed with the wrong individuals. We are people of the light and they are people of the darkness. My ancestors and orishas were ready for them all, and the universe was recording and keeping record of every notorious deed in which was repeatedly done toward us.

Tina had poisoned food of my mother’s years ago too while neighbors were working black magic/voodoo/witchcraft against her.

My grandfather was driven to mental affliction before he was killed and found dead in the Hudson river.

My aunt Charise was drugged and raped which caused her to be afflicted with mental illness.

My grandfather, mother, younger aunt, and I were targeted for manipulative breakdowns because we were all very smart, strong, and fighters who could literally kick ass if needed be. We weren’t the type to back down or be bullied by anyone, and we were all good upstanding people.

The intent for causing mental, emotional, and spiritual breakdowns are to weaken one, to render them as incredible, and to lower their self esteem and spirit.

Certain evildoers want those of us who have knowledge in which threaten their unscrupulous ways either dead or labeled as crazy.

 

 

 

A Rainy And Cloudy Day In Manhattan, New York/My Snapshots

Photo by LaToya Lawrence- I took this snapshot this afternoon In Manhattan, New York

When I arrived to Manhattan before 9.am. this morning it was raining.

The precipitation felt good, though, the drops weren’t coming down too hard at all it was refreshing.

By the time I was on my way home during the afternoon the rain had stopped completely yet the sky remained cloudy.

As I walked along the streets I took a few photos with my smartphone.

I brought my mother home a very healthy sandwich that contained chicken, tomato, garlic, kale, roasted onion and mozzarella heated on hero bread.

She told me how good the sandwich was and I was glad she enjoyed it.

Photo by LaToya Lawrence- I took this snapshot this afternoon In Manhattan, New York