The Grapevine

I am a straight up type of person as I speak the truth, whatever I have to say about a person I’ll tell them to their face, I have been known for my blunt and bold approach.

Nobody messes with me!

I never cared or worried about rumors and reputation my distinct character always stood out and spoke for itself.

Of course, individuals perceive and misconceive notions about others, in general, however, no one is defined by another person’s conjectures or lies.

People lie and talk about other people everyday.

People have constantly told lies on me all through out my life, gossip is a hot topic for those who are jealous, bitter, miserable, and who have no true fulfillment radiating within their life.

Most people who talk to such an extent don’t know what they are talking about.

Other people’s bullshit is usually a reflection of their own insecurities, tendencies, and susceptibilities. The instances have absolutely nothing to do with the other person on the receiving end.

The grapevine is a long line of history and travel in which goes back and forth to nowhere again, circulated stories of unproven reports, doubtful truths, and uncertain events.

I’d never lose any sleep or laughter over the stupidity of others, I’m far too intelligent and productive for that.

The True Gender Of A Distinguished Female

Ignorant and insecure men will accuse a female of trying to be like a man when she does not display the stereotypical characteristics of the women they and society have become fondly accustomed to.

In actuality, I by birth have never been the average type of female or the stereotypical version.

Who said, and where does it come from, that women who seem to think like men, or who are not emotional, or who have sex with no emotional attachment are trying to be like men?

Where did it come from that these traits or behaviors are strictly men related? I was born this way, have always been this way, and know other females who are this way.

Only twisted people reflect in this manner.

No matter what gender anyone is they have the right to be and to express who they are without bias, criticism, and backlash from egotistical and inadequate other people.

I was born a female, and I am proud to be a girl, a lady and a woman.

I was not meant to be with a man it is not within my nature to be attracted to, to love, to desire, or to copulate with any male out of pleasure, or out of affection. And I am not a lesbian.

There are certain men who also feel this way about and toward women, and that is perfectly fine.

I’m not talking about hatred of any kind I’m talking about natural inborn tendency.

I am asexual.

I am whole and complete as an individual, confident and secure, uninhibited and unabashed.

I, of course, don’t represent all females as we come in all variety, inherent nature, and preference.

However, I epitomize what a genuine female is as I am a real girl, lady, and woman.

A female is not defined by a standard that is believed to be or a standard of what one should be. A female is defined by the strength and the depth of her true mind and spirit.

 

Brown Skin: I Was Never A Colorstruck Type Of Person

I was never fazed about yellow skin or light colored eyes like many in the black community were.

It went on within the Hispanic community too, how they favored the fairer skin in comparison to the bronze.

It made no sense to me.

I don’t have a light complexion, or a dark complexion, I am a very nice shade of medium brown.

I have always been comfortable in my own brown skin since childhood and never understood the conflict and color problem among other African American individuals.

I never defined a person’s attractiveness or self worth based on a skin tone.

It is not color that denotes physical beauty it is the structure and design of facial features in which appeal to the eye, and the inner beauty of a person’s soul and character, that appeal to the heart and to the mind of those with genuine depth.

Most importantly, and above all, one should be pleased and satisfied with one’s own self and appearance, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, or train of thought.

Self confidence comes with self love, and self approval comes with self acceptance.

The true beauty and richness in color are the shades authentically painted from a brush stroked by the hands of someone who truly loves and believes in them self even if or when nobody else does.

Make-up and types of cosmetics was another thing I never understood and something I never desired to wear.

I believe in being totally natural I could never imagine covering myself up with unnatural coloring that brings out another form of negative shade toward one’s self image.

I know some wear make-up as an enhancement because they feel they look good, though to some, It promotes the idea of not looking good enough.

When one is secure there is no need to hide behind a cover, you’d want to show off your true color.

All shades come in beautiful packages.

 

 

 

 

Insecure People

It all starts within the home.

I had and was given so much love and attention at home that I never sort out to find love elsewhere.

Love made me confident, love made me strong, love made me secure, and no one can take away what was instilled in me from the beginning.

I have a very high self esteem and I am very sure of myself I have never desired, needed, or looked for social acceptance or validation from anyone.

I don’t understand people who do.

I don’t like people who reflect their own insecurities and negativities onto me, and onto others who exude a genuine and a positive self image, and attitude.

Those whose self esteem is so low that they interpret self assurance and strong sense of self as being full of oneself is all too self-telling.

It seems that some who are unable to reach a secure level of self worth and self value within themselves are more apt or prone to devalue the value in which others actually have for themselves.

Insecure individuals who self doubt, have doubt within others, only because they don’t believe the possibilities in others, that are impossible for them.

 

 

Mental, Emotional, And Spiritual Breakdown

Everyone who has had a breakdown of some sort is not weak, crazy, or dangerously unstable.

A breakdown is spiritual within many instances. A Yoruba priestess even acknowledged this fact to me years ago. I know firsthand as my own mother was a victim of brujeria in the early 1980’s.

I was even targeted. My aunt tried to flip me out when I was eighteen years of age by putting the hallucinogenic drug mescaline into a hot pot of black eyed peas that I had cooking over the stove.

People often use recreational “trip” drugs to increase the chance or enhance the effect of mental and chemical alterations of the brain while also performing the negative spiritual influences within black magic/voodoo/witchcraft.

My aunt went a step further in her malicious attempt by also putting tainted hiv fluids inside my food. Anyone educated would know the disease would not survive within the air and within a pot of scalding hot water.

Nevertheless, I didn’t lose my head or have a breakdown, my mind was too strong with faculty and awareness, and I didn’t, of course, become infected with aids either.

I was young, innocent, and very spiritually inclined, so divine intervention took over and protected me.

My aunt Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has been hiv positive since the 1980’s due to intravenous drug use and promiscuous behavior from the 1970’s on up and instead of using her limited time to spend changing her life around for the better, she continued to do tons of constant dirt. She and other envious and jealous ruthless dummies, whores, drug addicts, and degenerates attacked me and other family for decades.

They’ve in addition done it to others, however, when they came after my mother and I, they messed with the wrong individuals. We are people of the light and they are people of the darkness. My ancestors and orishas were ready for them all, and the universe was recording and keeping record of every notorious deed in which was repeatedly done toward us.

Tina had poisoned food of my mother’s years ago too while neighbors were working black magic/voodoo/witchcraft against her.

My grandfather was driven to mental affliction before he was killed and found dead in the Hudson river.

My aunt Charise was drugged and raped which caused her to be afflicted with mental illness.

My grandfather, mother, younger aunt, and I were targeted for manipulative breakdowns because we were all very smart, strong, and fighters who could literally kick ass if needed be. We weren’t the type to back down or be bullied by anyone, and we were all good upstanding people.

The intent for causing mental, emotional, and spiritual breakdowns are to weaken one, to render them as incredible, and to lower their self esteem and spirit.

Certain evildoers want those of us who have knowledge in which threaten their unscrupulous ways either dead or labeled as crazy.

 

 

 

A “Lady” Is Not “Truly” Defined By Her Sexual History

 

In my opinion, sexual intercourse is a stupid act as I consider a man and his penis totally undesirable.

Nevertheless, I am a very intelligent and logical open-minded woman who knows there are a lot of females who are interested in men and sex, or who may just use men for sex whether they want to have a child or they may just want to get their kicks off.

I can still elaborate common sense to a subject in which makes no sense.

I don’t care what anyone does with their lives or with their bodies as it is of no concern to me, in spite of that fact, as a societal issue and as a woman/lady myself I am inspired to express on this subject.

I’m not at all saying that attitudes will ever change, but that I, and I am quite sure many others, absolutely do not hold these same attitudes.

Bullshit like this pisses me off so I just had to speak on it. Sexual acts and nothing else soley lowers an individual’s status simply because they are a woman. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks!

I use to hate when some people thought years ago because I didn’t indulge in sex that it meant I was “saving myself” for a husband or that it meant I was “moral”. All this bullshit way of thinking all because of how I wasn’t using my vagina.

If I was having sex what would it have meant?

My body and what I didn’t or did do with it had nothing to do with my worth or dignity as a woman as my body is not for any man or for anyone to define.

I am so proud to have been born a strong, intelligent female/woman who was not brainwashed or easily influenced and I dare anyone to define to me what womanhood means or is all about.

As I’ve mentioned a while back, my mother listens to the radio sometimes, or just about everyday in the morning, and Steve Harvey spoke on a Strawberry Letter segment that someone wrote in about in regard to a thirty-two year old woman bartender who uses her job to pick up guys in their twenties because the guys her age can’t keep up with her sexually.

It was also mentioned within the letter as to there being a double standard when it comes to the sexual prowess of men and women.

So Steve elaborated on the letter and the double standard claim, acknowledging how the double standard has been out for centuries, and that it is not going to change.

Then he brought up about how his father explained to his sister when they were younger that as a female she wouldn’t be able to do what a man does (have sex with multiple people/men) and still be considered a lady. Yet, a man that has sex with multiple woman will always be considered a man, regardless.

Of course, I’ve heard and have been aware of this type of mentality among society, however, the notion has always been one of the dumbest and most illogical things in which I’ve ever heard.

This is the reason certain ignorant and jackass men think they can ruin a woman’s reputation if they get mad at her and/or if she doesn’t want him and he gets rejected by her. It gives these men a false sense of power.

There are dumb women who fall for the nonsense also and develop a toxic mindset.

Some men just want to stop certain women from being sexually liberated due to their inability of not being able to handle or to accept the kind of women who have no true feelings or emotional attachment to them.

It is only to feed into their ridiculous egos, a lack of knowledge into the configuration of particular women, or the bias and corny so called traditional values inhabiting them and society.

All women who have sex with multiple people are not whores. It depends on the nature of the situation and the mentality of the woman.

A woman who is hooked on a penis and who needs and desires it constantly, now that is a whore, whether the woman is married or single with one man, or has been with millions of them.

A man who is promiscuous is not looked upon as anyone or anything worthwhile within my eyes. There is no difference, and to me, for men, it is much worse because it really shows a weakness on their part if they are so hung up on a vagina and need sex the way they do. It speaks volumes about a man’s mind and character, and not within a good or respectable way.

If “nature” is the pathetic excuse for why many or most men are so lustful and get aroused so easily it just goes to show and prove that they are indeed the weaker sex.

I know there are plenty of weak women out in the world but women are generally stronger than men emotionally, anyway, I knew that ever since childhood.

I grew up within a family full of strong women so I know for a fact.

Healthcare Jobs

 

I’ve seen and heard a lot within life in general, however, working as a caregiver within the healthcare field one gets to see an additional variety of tragic situations.

When I went to work I did my job then left to go home. I never got attached to anyone of my clients and I never dealt with any of the coworkers.

It was just another job to me as I purely communicated on a professional level.

I didn’t take work home with me and I didn’t bring anything from home to work. Neither one had anything to do with the other.

Once I got home, the job was all forgotten about, except for anticipating pay day!

All I desired to do was to relax and enjoy the peace and contentment within my own life.

There was one thing I kept in mind from working in healthcare, though, and that was the misfortune in other people’s realities.

After encountering all of the people I have along with their families and observing the predicaments surrounding them I realized just how fortunate and lucky I really was and have been.

I’ve looked at all of the mental and physical afflictions and personal problems that plagued these people and would never want to undergo any of their┬áconditions.

Everyone I’ve came into contact with wasn’t in a bad way. The ones who were suffered tremendously all struggling within their own ailments and life circumstances.

As one behind the scenes I got to see everything from a raw angle. I knew what really went on in some of the hospitals and assisted living facilities with corrupt staff as well as in the homes of these clients with no good family members.

A few of the clients themselves weren’t any good either and what they’ve done in life could’ve made them end up the way they are now.

On this path I’ve also met quite a few nice people along with their families who had treated me very well and who were very hospitable and generous toward me.

They made me feel so comfortable and welcomed and I had provided great care for their loved ones.