The Grapevine

I am a straight up type of person as I speak the truth, whatever I have to say about a person I’ll tell them to their face, I have been known for my blunt and bold approach.

Nobody messes with me!

I never cared or worried about rumors and reputation my distinct character always stood out and spoke for itself.

Of course, individuals perceive and misconceive notions about others, in general, however, no one is defined by another person’s conjectures or lies.

People lie and talk about other people everyday.

People have constantly told lies on me all through out my life, gossip is a hot topic for those who are jealous, bitter, miserable, and who have no true fulfillment radiating within their life.

Most people who talk to such an extent don’t know what they are talking about.

Other people’s bullshit is usually a reflection of their own insecurities, tendencies, and susceptibilities. The instances have absolutely nothing to do with the other person on the receiving end.

The grapevine is a long line of history and travel in which goes back and forth to nowhere again, circulated stories of unproven reports, doubtful truths, and uncertain events.

I’d never lose any sleep or laughter over the stupidity of others, I’m far too intelligent and productive for that.

The True Gender Of A Distinguished Female

Ignorant and insecure men will accuse a female of trying to be like a man when she does not display the stereotypical characteristics of the women they and society have become fondly accustomed to.

In actuality, I by birth have never been the average type of female or the stereotypical version.

Who said, and where does it come from, that women who seem to think like men, or who are not emotional, or who have sex with no emotional attachment are trying to be like men?

Where did it come from that these traits or behaviors are strictly men related? I was born this way, have always been this way, and know other females who are this way.

Only twisted people reflect in this manner.

No matter what gender anyone is they have the right to be and to express who they are without bias, criticism, and backlash from egotistical and inadequate other people.

I was born a female, and I am proud to be a girl, a lady and a woman.

I was not meant to be with a man it is not within my nature to be attracted to, to love, to desire, or to copulate with any male out of pleasure, or out of affection. And I am not a lesbian.

There are certain men who also feel this way about and toward women, and that is perfectly fine.

I’m not talking about hatred of any kind I’m talking about natural inborn tendency.

I am asexual.

I am whole and complete as an individual, confident and secure, uninhibited and unabashed.

I, of course, don’t represent all females as we come in all variety, inherent nature, and preference.

However, I epitomize what a genuine female is as I am a real girl, lady, and woman.

A female is not defined by a standard that is believed to be or a standard of what one should be. A female is defined by the strength and the depth of her true mind and spirit.

 

Brown Skin: I Was Never A Colorstruck Type Of Person

I was never fazed about yellow skin or light colored eyes like many in the black community were.

It went on within the Hispanic community too, how they favored the fairer skin in comparison to the bronze.

It made no sense to me.

I don’t have a light complexion, or a dark complexion, I am a very nice shade of medium brown.

I have always been comfortable in my own brown skin since childhood and never understood the conflict and color problem among other African American individuals.

I never defined a person’s attractiveness or self worth based on a skin tone.

It is not color that denotes physical beauty it is the structure and design of facial features in which appeal to the eye, and the inner beauty of a person’s soul and character, that appeal to the heart and to the mind of those with genuine depth.

Most importantly, and above all, one should be pleased and satisfied with one’s own self and appearance, regardless of anyone else’s opinion, or train of thought.

Self confidence comes with self love, and self approval comes with self acceptance.

The true beauty and richness in color are the shades authentically painted from a brush stroked by the hands of someone who truly loves and believes in them self even if or when nobody else does.

Make-up and types of cosmetics was another thing I never understood and something I never desired to wear.

I believe in being totally natural I could never imagine covering myself up with unnatural coloring that brings out another form of negative shade toward one’s self image.

I know some wear make-up as an enhancement because they feel they look good, though to some, It promotes the idea of not looking good enough.

When one is secure there is no need to hide behind a cover, you’d want to show off your true color.

All shades come in beautiful packages.

 

 

 

 

Insecure People

It all starts within the home.

I had and was given so much love and attention at home that I never sort out to find love elsewhere.

Love made me confident, love made me strong, love made me secure, and no one can take away what was instilled in me from the beginning.

I have a very high self esteem and I am very sure of myself I have never desired, needed, or looked for social acceptance or validation from anyone.

I don’t understand people who do.

I don’t like people who reflect their own insecurities and negativities onto me, and onto others who exude a genuine and a positive self image, and attitude.

Those whose self esteem is so low that they interpret self assurance and strong sense of self as being full of oneself is all too self-telling.

It seems that some who are unable to reach a secure level of self worth and self value within themselves are more apt or prone to devalue the value in which others actually have for themselves.

Insecure individuals who self doubt, have doubt within others, only because they don’t believe the possibilities in others, that are impossible for them.

 

 

Mental, Emotional, And Spiritual Breakdown

Everyone who has had a breakdown of some sort is not weak, crazy, or dangerously unstable.

A breakdown is spiritual within many instances. A Yoruba priestess even acknowledged this fact to me years ago. I know firsthand as my own mother was a victim of brujeria in the early 1980’s.

I was even targeted. My aunt tried to flip me out when I was eighteen years of age by putting the hallucinogenic drug mescaline into a hot pot of black eyed peas that I had cooking over the stove.

People often use recreational “trip” drugs to increase the chance or enhance the effect of mental and chemical alterations of the brain while also performing the negative spiritual influences within black magic/voodoo/witchcraft.

My aunt went a step further in her malicious attempt by also putting tainted hiv fluids inside my food. Anyone educated would know the disease would not survive within the air and within a pot of scalding hot water.

Nevertheless, I didn’t lose my head or have a breakdown, my mind was too strong with faculty and awareness, and I didn’t, of course, become infected with aids either.

I was young, innocent, and very spiritually inclined, so divine intervention took over and protected me.

My aunt Tina (Ernestine Lawrence) has been hiv positive since the 1980’s due to intravenous drug use and promiscuous behavior from the 1970’s on up and instead of using her limited time to spend changing her life around for the better, she continued to do tons of constant dirt. She and other envious and jealous ruthless dummies, whores, drug addicts, and degenerates attacked me and other family for decades.

They’ve in addition done it to others, however, when they came after my mother and I, they messed with the wrong individuals. We are people of the light and they are people of the darkness. My ancestors and orishas were ready for them all, and the universe was recording and keeping record of every notorious deed in which was repeatedly done toward us.

Tina had poisoned food of my mother’s years ago too while neighbors were working black magic/voodoo/witchcraft against her.

My grandfather was driven to mental affliction before he was killed and found dead in the Hudson river.

My aunt Charise was drugged and raped which caused her to be afflicted with mental illness.

My grandfather, mother, younger aunt, and I were targeted for manipulative breakdowns because we were all very smart, strong, and fighters who could literally kick ass if needed be. We weren’t the type to back down or be bullied by anyone, and we were all good upstanding people.

The intent for causing mental, emotional, and spiritual breakdowns are to weaken one, to render them as incredible, and to lower their self esteem and spirit.

Certain evildoers want those of us who have knowledge in which threaten their unscrupulous ways either dead or labeled as crazy.

 

 

 

A “Lady” Is Not “Truly” Defined By Her Sexual History

 

In my opinion, sexual intercourse is a stupid act as I consider a man and his penis totally undesirable.

Nevertheless, I am a very intelligent and logical open-minded woman who knows there are a lot of females who are interested in men and sex, or who may just use men for sex whether they want to have a child or they may just want to get their kicks off.

I can still elaborate common sense to a subject in which makes no sense.

I don’t care what anyone does with their lives or with their bodies as it is of no concern to me, in spite of that fact, as a societal issue and as a woman/lady myself I am inspired to express on this subject.

I’m not at all saying that attitudes will ever change, but that I, and I am quite sure many others, absolutely do not hold these same attitudes.

Bullshit like this pisses me off so I just had to speak on it. Sexual acts and nothing else soley lowers an individual’s status simply because they are a woman. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks!

I use to hate when some people thought years ago because I didn’t indulge in sex that it meant I was “saving myself” for a husband or that it meant I was “moral”. All this bullshit way of thinking all because of how I wasn’t using my vagina.

If I was having sex what would it have meant?

My body and what I didn’t or did do with it had nothing to do with my worth or dignity as a woman as my body is not for any man or for anyone to define.

I am so proud to have been born a strong, intelligent female/woman who was not brainwashed or easily influenced and I dare anyone to define to me what womanhood means or is all about.

As I’ve mentioned a while back, my mother listens to the radio sometimes, or just about everyday in the morning, and Steve Harvey spoke on a Strawberry Letter segment that someone wrote in about in regard to a thirty-two year old woman bartender who uses her job to pick up guys in their twenties because the guys her age can’t keep up with her sexually.

It was also mentioned within the letter as to there being a double standard when it comes to the sexual prowess of men and women.

So Steve elaborated on the letter and the double standard claim, acknowledging how the double standard has been out for centuries, and that it is not going to change.

Then he brought up about how his father explained to his sister when they were younger that as a female she wouldn’t be able to do what a man does (have sex with multiple people/men) and still be considered a lady. Yet, a man that has sex with multiple woman will always be considered a man, regardless.

Of course, I’ve heard and have been aware of this type of mentality among society, however, the notion has always been one of the dumbest and most illogical things in which I’ve ever heard.

This is the reason certain ignorant and jackass men think they can ruin a woman’s reputation if they get mad at her and/or if she doesn’t want him and he gets rejected by her. It gives these men a false sense of power.

There are dumb women who fall for the nonsense also and develop a toxic mindset.

Some men just want to stop certain women from being sexually liberated due to their inability of not being able to handle or to accept the kind of women who have no true feelings or emotional attachment to them.

It is only to feed into their ridiculous egos, a lack of knowledge into the configuration of particular women, or the bias and corny so called traditional values inhabiting them and society.

All women who have sex with multiple people are not whores. It depends on the nature of the situation and the mentality of the woman.

A woman who is hooked on a penis and who needs and desires it constantly, now that is a whore, whether the woman is married or single with one man, or has been with millions of them.

A man who is promiscuous is not looked upon as anyone or anything worthwhile within my eyes. There is no difference, and to me, for men, it is much worse because it really shows a weakness on their part if they are so hung up on a vagina and need sex the way they do. It speaks volumes about a man’s mind and character, and not within a good or respectable way.

If “nature” is the pathetic excuse for why many or most men are so lustful and get aroused so easily it just goes to show and prove that they are indeed the weaker sex.

I know there are plenty of weak women out in the world but women are generally stronger than men emotionally, anyway, I knew that ever since childhood.

I grew up within a family full of strong women so I know for a fact.

Healthcare Jobs

 

I’ve seen and heard a lot within life in general, however, working as a caregiver within the healthcare field one gets to see an additional variety of tragic situations.

When I went to work I did my job then left to go home. I never got attached to anyone of my clients and I never dealt with any of the coworkers.

It was just another job to me as I purely communicated on a professional level.

I didn’t take work home with me and I didn’t bring anything from home to work. Neither one had anything to do with the other.

Once I got home, the job was all forgotten about, except for anticipating pay day!

All I desired to do was to relax and enjoy the peace and contentment within my own life.

There was one thing I kept in mind from working in healthcare, though, and that was the misfortune in other people’s realities.

After encountering all of the people I have along with their families and observing the predicaments surrounding them I realized just how fortunate and lucky I really was and have been.

I’ve looked at all of the mental and physical afflictions and personal problems that plagued these people and would never want to undergo any of theirĀ conditions.

Everyone I’ve came into contact with wasn’t in a bad way. The ones who were suffered tremendously all struggling within their own ailments and life circumstances.

As one behind the scenes I got to see everything from a raw angle. I knew what really went on in some of the hospitals and assisted living facilities with corrupt staff as well as in the homes of these clients with no good family members.

A few of the clients themselves weren’t any good either and what they’ve done in life could’ve made them end up the way they are now.

On this path I’ve also met quite a few nice people along with their families who had treated me very well and who were very hospitable and generous toward me.

They made me feel so comfortable and welcomed and I had provided great care for their loved ones.

 

 

 

 

 

Motivational Speaker

I was told more than once by certain people that I should become and would do well as a motivational speaker.

I honestly had never gave the idea any thought.

I was also told by a few I’d do very well in psychology yet I did at one time actually give thought to my capacity and potential within the study and science of the mind and personality before anyone had mentioned the suggestion to me.

Psychology comes naturally to me as I’ve always analyzed people and situations and if I had chose that path I would have made a darn good psychologist.

I am a very open minded individual with a heightened ability to perceive, and I also logically know, and understand, there is more to behavior and ways of thinking than what is widely generalized and categorized.

I do have great communication and interpersonal skills, however, I don’t think within the fashions of average society and some take my words or expressions in the incorrect way.

I have a very strong and unique mindset in which many never understood, though, people who are on the same wavelength do relate and harmonize with me.

We all have our own differences, nevertheless, sometimes a fresh or unusual viewpoint or revelation can be interesting, inspiring, and invigorating.

 

Envious And Jealous People

Jealousy and envy is very real and it is a very ugly emotion and thing in which causes discontentment and resentment within certain individuals towards others.

Have you ever had positive situations going for you and those in particular attempted to spoil the advantages?

It happens all of the time with many of us who are productive and who are able to flourish.

People are ready and are often on standby looking to prevent and to tarnish the prospects of opportunity as they don’t like to see others succeed and get ahead.

The most important thing to do is to always stay aware, keep up at having a genuine sense of self, purpose, and foundation.

Continue to revel within your own personal happiness, peace, and determination to proceed forward as no one can destroy one’s true inner joy, serenity, and motivation if they are strong within mind and spirit.

Spiritual Advisors

The reality of it all is there really aren’t too many legitimate psychics out there.

The majority of individuals advertising as spiritual advisors have absolutely no spiritual abilities at all.

Most of them are just scam artists who are unable to succeed within life as they don’t have the knowledge or skill to excel anywhere else and often come up with schemes in which to make fast or easy money.

Those very few with true psychic ability who are of upstanding character don’t waste time at trying to take advantage of anyone for money.

They are only interested in earning their funds honestly and with dignity.

Gifted people of this nature usual have multiple faculties and are preoccupied with further developing and utilizing their talents and skills to produce and to accomplish their specific goals and carry out their celestial missions in which bring to them a personal fulfillment and the betterment of self.

Genuine people of “sight” are not led by greed or idle they are led by purity and distinction within spirit.

 

 

Soap And Water

Personal hygiene is very important.

Everyone should regularly aim to keep their bodies fresh and clean, although, not everybody acquires or desires to do so.

I love a pleasant steaming hot shower, the firm beading sprays of soothing waters are therapeutic and rejuvenating, it feels good to thoroughly wash and rinse off mental and physical tension as well as away all of the excess of oils, sweat, and dirt in which we accumulate.

It’s a mental problem to constantly hesitate to wash, considering the fact how beneficial the overall effects of a scrub, soak, and spray, have on our health and wellbeing.

Some individuals are not even cleaning themselves properly by reaching and carefully scouring their folded and private areas.

It’s necessary to get into creases where most odors get trapped into through bacteria.

It’s nothing to be embarrassed about we all will stink if we don’t continue to wash on a steady basis.

I was at one of my jobs, when I worked at Toys R Us, and I noticed one of the managers in a rush to leave out from one of the aisles as he was placing items on a shelf.

He was trying to make a quick getaway as he saw I was approaching over to the area to where he was to finish up the rest of my assignment.

By the time I made it over to the aisle he was gone, however, the strong odor of his funky armpits had stayed to linger on behind.

He didn’t want me to smell him that is why he was in such a hurry to leave out the area before I came over.

Why didn’t he just wash up before he left home for work?

Yes, some people do sweat heavily during tasking and may start to reek, but from what I had smelled by what exuded from his body he hadn’t bathed that day, I could tell.

Some people are within such a rush to get to their job that they’ll skip the process of washing in order to not show up late.

He already could smell himself, he should have known better. Some people start out with a little odor, thinking they may be able to get through the rest of the day until that funk starts to heighten, and to spread.

People have to stop the odor before it starts and control it by remaining sanitary and using a form of deodorant and/or antiperspirant.

There are some who can’t help from having a foul odor as they may unfortunately have a gland problem or defect.

Certain others bodily insides are just rotten from lack of concern for their own personal health ( how they use their constitutions and what they internally put into them) and poor self care (internal bodily neglect).

Underlying circumstances within the body can manifest itself through out ones pores, and so on.

 

 

Recognition

One doesn’t need the acknowledgement from others to acknowledge one’s self

I’ve never needed a reward or anybody’s praise to feel good about myself.

I know who I am and I know what I’m capable of doing.

If no one ever took notice of my abilities it would not have made me any less able.

There is so much more to many of us than what a lot of others can see or perceive upon the surface.

What about the other qualities or faculties in which we may possess?

What about our character, how our minds think, what we stand for, what we believe in, the very things in which define our being of substance?

Those of us who are strong and confident don’t require anyone to validate us. Our existence and state of being is proof enough of affirmation, we don’t need confirmation.

The very first award I remember to have received was at the age of seven or eight, I was presented a pen in front of my entire school auditorium for being one of the best readers among all the other students.

From then on, I’d constantly receive certificates, awards, and tokens of achievement, whether at school or on my jobs.

Of course, these exhibits of recognition are very nice and enough to make our parents and those who believe within our capacity very proud of us and of our accomplishments.

I just feel praise and awards are just words and objects in which one shouldn’t expect to depend on when it comes to self worth or self value, and going forward to attain one’s aspirations.

Non Working People

 

To me, having a job doesn’t make a person who they are.

There are people who are employed who are not about anything and who aren’t worth anything, they may have just gotten lucky, or were more fortunate in life than certain others.

Then, there are people who are unemployed who happen to be the most valuable and reasonable people on the planet.

There are many reasons some people don’t have jobs or don’t want to work.

Their grounds are not always on listless, baseless, or negative terms either and they don’t owe anyone any explanations whatsoever.

Unless others have walked in these people’s shoes they shouldn’t be so quick to stomp all over them.

Some people don’t like to constantly be around other people. Some people may see the world within a different light than average or what is usual.

Some people want to be their own boss. Some people want to utilize their own talents within their own ways.

Some people have things going on around them in which may call for them to sort out before they make their significant turn unto their journey.

Some people are dealing with illnesses.

One never knows what’s going on in another person’s life.

I’m not saying this is the case for everyone, of course, there are unmotivated low-life bums who exist only to steal or to mooch off of other decent people.

There are also those who are unable to hold a job and those who are too incompetent to work due to a lack of skills and a lack of proficiency, however, I’m not talking about individuals within this category.

I’m talking about good or okay people who just may have had a case of bad luck, a hard or difficult life, a spiritual dilemma, a celestial arrangement, or they just may have an unconventional outlook where they view things inexplicably but they’re not bad or lazy people and they’ll get whatever they need to get together when the time is right for them.

The universe has a way of design, and, a way of working things out.

Unsupervised Supervisors/The Unfair Advantage

I don’t like it when employers/managers try to take advantage of you because they know you are a good worker.

It’s happened to me a few times.

I had a company I worked for have me fill in for another employee who was supposed to return back to her schedule at day two of me covering her shift, yet she was able to call out again, and I got left hanging for two extra days on the job.

I ended up working four extra days straight or else I would have gotten penalized due to the fact management had no one else to cover for them.

If it was me who had called out like that it would have not been acceptable.

When I tried to get out of it one of the managers told me “No”. And, her excuse was “We can’t get another associate like you and one as good as you for the particular assignment”.

So it was all about making the company look good never mind what I may have had planned on my days off.

I had just finished my own complete weekly schedule immediately prior to getting a call from a manager to fill in for what they claimed would be a two day fill in shift. I accepted to make extra money not to be conveniently “sentenced” to an assignment on account of another employee’s irresponsibility.

I eventually walked out on them I had too much self respect.

I understand when someone can be depended upon and/or does outstanding or exceptional work supervisors tend to heavily rely on them to come through and consider them to be a great representation of their establishment.

However, attempting to use someone who is an asset for one’s own recognition and advancement within the workplace at the cost of depriving the employee of their own fair treatment is highly unethical.

After all, it is the employee doing and putting in all of the work, why not show appreciation by promoting them instead of keeping them in the same position only to benefit from them or because the managers fear their employee will eventually snatch up their job.

I’ve been on jobs where the supervisors didn’t even know what they were doing, they did not have a clue about how to properly do their job or how to manage the establishment, and they had to count on other employees who were under them to show and teach them the certain procedures in which they should have already had experience within, and known, in order to have obtained the positions they were in to begin with.

Many supervisors haven’t earned their way up honestly they were given their jobs either out of favoritism, because they may have had a relative pull some strings for them, or they just knew someone just as corrupt as they were who also abusively used their position to rise up without actually deserving any of their working status.

I’veĀ  had to phone up the corporate office on more than one of my employers at two of my workplaces within the past, and surely, the supervisors were investigated, and action was taken because I was in the right.

Things don’t always play out so well when contacting headquarters, of course, because there is also plenty of corruption within the corporate offices too.

 

Ole Cup Of Joe

Just to clarify: There are people who drink their coffee every morning or maybe three or four times a week and there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary or wrong with that.

On the other hand, there are those who rely on numerous cups of coffee at a continuous pace or rate and use the beverage as a crutch.

A lot of people are hooked on coffee.

Whereas some people like and drink the different varieties of coffee for the taste, some claim they need the beverage to help wake them up in the morning, and some claim they need the beverage to help keep them up during the late hours of the night.

Tea also contains a significant amount of caffeine which definitely will keep one alert and up all night if they drink enough of it.

Tea is also a lighter and healthier beverage to consume in comparison to coffee as there are numerous herbal teas loaded with an array of medicinal properties and nutritional benefits yet they naturally don’t contain any caffeine like regular black tea does, and that is a good thing.

Nevertheless, many are not able to function without their cups of coffee and I’ve wondered if the instance is psychological as well as part addiction for a lot of people.

I’ve never been a constant or heavy coffee drinker. I’d drink a large french vanilla cappuccino once in a while, but after the one cup, I wasn’t able to drink anymore of the beverage within the same day of each other.

My appetite and body wouldn’t allow me to ingest an excess of coffee as it would give me a stomach ache. There was a definite limit as to how much I was able to drink before it could wreak havoc within my constitution.

The one cup of cappuccino on occasion was enough to satisfy my fancy, anyhow.

Coffee was never a beverage for me to get hooked on. I’m a juice, water, and soymilk junkie.

It’s been years since I’ve drank coffee, in fact, it has been a decade, and I don’t at all miss the taste of it. I stay away from any source of caffeine as much as possible.

All of my coffees use to be decaffeinated I barely drink black iced tea for this reason. I don’t even want a little bit of it in my system but just as long as it’s not a part of my daily intake and everyday lifestyle.

I’ve done a lot of twelve hour day and night shifts as well as overnight shifts through my work schedules in the past and I have never depended on or needed any type of “pick me up” stimulant or substance to focus with or keep me going. I’ve never even considered such a thing as an option.

I radiate my own stamina and energy through a healthy well-being and determination.

Some people really let that coffee get the best of them. The coffee has them going crazy. Some go into fits if they can’t get their dose of coffee. I know, I’ve seen it first hand with quite a few susceptible individuals.

These people have to have their coffee five and six times a day, maybe even more, depending on how their day is going, if they run out of the coffee, and if they can afford to buy more at the given time.

Some of these people drink coffee like a fish in water or like it may be going out of style.

 

 

 

Our Gadgets

It’s mandatory in this day and age for many of us to have cellular phones and computers even when it pertains to our jobs.

Many of our employers and the various fields of work now fluently communicate with us and require the use of these apparatuses in regard to our positions and assignments through the deployment of our androids, laptops, and/or computers.

Telecommunications has come very far and is so very essential to our lives within all aspects.

We have location features and GPS to let us know where we are, to help us to find a destination, and to sufficiently get us to our routes when our gadgets are performing accurately.

We can text message in private and for a quick connection, or to alert someone, or just for the mere advantage of convenience.

We can email and fax to ensure the prompt arrival of documents or to meet important deadlines, and so on.

We can build websites to conduct our own businesses or to advance within our own interpersonal or inherent skills, and to expand within our occupations from home if we choose to venture out more independently and dynamically.

There is so much resource in the operation and benefits which serve to a better lifestyle and way of living when it is utilized in a responsible and productive fashion.